i need to learn how to begin again

The truth is that I'm still holding onto my past self's expectations of me, because at 22 i wouldn’t have thought i’d still be here in the same town i grew up in, i thought i’d feel more stable, thought i’d be more happy.. more accomplished. My past goals feel like burdens to me now stopping me from any possibility of current success. I don't know how to accept change without shaming myself for it, like why do i never complete something? Why am I still pursuing things that don’t excite me? Why is it so hard to start again? It's like I'm not allowed to change my mind or evolve. Nothing I do feels complete. I don't know what I'm longing for.. Maybe the expectations I've held over myself for so many years are making me bitter of my present situation or my perspective is in dire need of a change, or maybe I'm just looking for another excuse to ease the reality of what is, instead of what i thought it would be. I need to learn how to begin again, remove my ego, and flow. Allow all expectations to leave and open myself up to the new possibilities of life. I need new life to wash over me again. I need to breathe light into myself, try new things, meet new people and release all shame.